I

After months or even lifetimes of doubting the beneficence

of the existence

of Dominus Benedictus

I rejoice this Sunday

feel smell see His goodness

golden green purple blue.

But today I can't comprehend anything Eternal except

death.

If indeed You are good

spawning spring streaming sun soothing souls

please Lord give me one sprig of lilac

from the pastel paradise of this reborning day.

Give me lilac wine potent

drown me

drop the purple curtain over

life's losses injuries injustices betrayals.

Give me lilacs Lord in a hundred crystal vases.

II

Lilacs Lord don't reek of death

like powered hands and polished fingernails

in a shiny mahogany coffin draped with a hundred roses.

Give me lilacs of life soft messages of life

if You love me if You exist

Dominus Benedictus.

Or is this enenchanted springday soft Mayday no more than

a token message of sympathy?

Promise me God

that this day will be an intimation

of promising flowering grace soon to come

and when I am full-bloomed fruit-filled flowing over,

then lilacs Lord place lilacs Lord

only lilacs on my grave.